Talk to Dr. Chafetz now : 469-233-5566
Paul K. Chafetz, PhD Clinical Psychology
  • Home
  • Services
  • About
  • Contact
    • Send Dr. Chafetz a Message
    • Contact Information >
      • Office Location
    • Upcoming Events
    • New patient registration forms
    • Site Map
  • Blog
  • Media
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Articles
    • Quizzes
    • Other Media
  • Services
    • Adult Psychology >
      • Midlife Crisis Depression
      • Dealing With Empty Nest Syndrome
      • Adjustment To Retirement
      • Caregiver Support
      • Dealing with Adult Children
      • Dealing with Elderly Parents
      • Dealing With Difficult Relatives
      • Authority and Responsibility in Families
      • Boomerang adult children
      • BOOM: Becoming one's own man
    • Health Psychology >
      • Depression Psychotherapy
      • Anxiety Therapy
      • Insomnia Therapy
      • Chronic Illness Therapy
      • Pain Management Therapy
    • Psychology of Life >
      • Self-Esteem Therapy
      • Stages of Life Psychology
      • Assertiveness Therapy
      • Psychology of Forgiveness
      • Family Psychotherapy
      • Birth Order Psychology
    • Clinical Gero-Psychology >
      • Grief Therapy
      • Dementia Therapy
      • Coping with Senility
    • Forensic Gero-Psychology >
      • Competence to sign a will
      • Contesting a will
      • Guardianship
      • Vulnerability to exploitation
    • Need a speaker?
  • Past Events
  • Home
  • Services
  • About
  • Contact
    • Send Dr. Chafetz a Message
    • Contact Information >
      • Office Location
    • Upcoming Events
    • New patient registration forms
    • Site Map
  • Blog
  • Media
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Articles
    • Quizzes
    • Other Media
  • Services
    • Adult Psychology >
      • Midlife Crisis Depression
      • Dealing With Empty Nest Syndrome
      • Adjustment To Retirement
      • Caregiver Support
      • Dealing with Adult Children
      • Dealing with Elderly Parents
      • Dealing With Difficult Relatives
      • Authority and Responsibility in Families
      • Boomerang adult children
      • BOOM: Becoming one's own man
    • Health Psychology >
      • Depression Psychotherapy
      • Anxiety Therapy
      • Insomnia Therapy
      • Chronic Illness Therapy
      • Pain Management Therapy
    • Psychology of Life >
      • Self-Esteem Therapy
      • Stages of Life Psychology
      • Assertiveness Therapy
      • Psychology of Forgiveness
      • Family Psychotherapy
      • Birth Order Psychology
    • Clinical Gero-Psychology >
      • Grief Therapy
      • Dementia Therapy
      • Coping with Senility
    • Forensic Gero-Psychology >
      • Competence to sign a will
      • Contesting a will
      • Guardianship
      • Vulnerability to exploitation
    • Need a speaker?
  • Past Events
Picture

SAY “A-A-H!”  WHEN IS IT SMART TO ASK FOR HELP?

7/31/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture

Have you said “aah” lately?  I hope so. Think of a cool drink on a hot day. Everyone knows that “aah” means happiness, relief, pleasure, and comfort.  I propose that AAH is actually an acronym, an abbreviation for (trust me here) “ask for and accept help.”  Of course!  What brings happiness, relief, pleasure, and comfort better than asking for and accepting help?  Not much! 

​Why are so many people reluctant to ask for help?  Here in Texas, probably all over America, there is a widespread ethos of rugged self-reliance, which holds that an honorable person takes full responsibility for himself, endures stoically the consequences of his own decisions, and views asking for help as weakness or failure. 

It is certainly desirable that everyone dig deeply into themselves for courage, perseverance, effort, and skill to move their life forward. It is also desirable that everyone contributes to society rather than mooches off of the labor and kindness of others.  At the same time, though, we know that life often hands people extraordinary challenges that quickly overwhelm their normal coping resources.  Is it good for society for that person to crash and burn?  Is it honorable to let unfortunate circumstances grind us down, and move us from strained to crushed?  I don’t think so.

Regardless of a general ethos of rugged self-reliance, there are circumstances in which good sense requires asking for and accepting help.  That is, the rules change!  To adhere to the usual rule when the rules should change is stubborn, unwise, selfish, and self-destructive.  It is easy to be too proud.  This truth is universally recognized, as contained in adages such as, “If you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together,” "It takes a village,” or “There, but for the grace of G-d, go I.” 

When you get a toothache, do you (a) do your own dental work, or (b) visit a dentist?   When you or a loved one is suffering acute or prolonged emotional upset, do you (a) Google it, or (b) consult a psychologist?  If a loved one is hospitalized, do you (a) keep it a secret, or (b) let your friends know so they can help you with emotional and practical support? 

I support option “b” in all such cases.  To reach “a-a-h!,” remember to ask for and accept help.  It will be good for you, good for those who help you, and good for your community.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    My podcasts

    Dr. Chafetz

    “My passion is ensuring that every adult is mentally ready to succeed in all transitions that comprise the adult years.  The meaning in my life comes from helping my patients see themselves, their situation, their future, and the entire world with new eyes and a newly courageous attitude.  
    ​
    My blog is for those wanting to Grow Into It."

    RSS Feed

Phone : 469.233.5566
Email :
PKChafetz@gmail.com
Paul K. Chafetz, PhD: Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist
Office Location: 8340 Meadow Rd., #134, Dallas, TX  75231