SAY “A-A-H!” WHEN IS IT SMART TO ASK FOR HELP?

Have you said “aah” lately?  I hope so. Think of a cool drink on a hot day. Everyone knows that “aah” means happiness, relief, pleasure, and comfort.  I propose that AAH is actually an acronym, an abbreviation for (trust me here) “ask for and accept help.”  Of course!  What brings happiness, relief, pleasure, and comfort better than asking for and accepting help?  Not much! 

​Why are so many people reluctant to ask for help?  Here in Texas, probably all over America, there is a widespread ethos of rugged self-reliance, which holds that an honorable person takes full responsibility for himself, endures stoically the consequences of his own decisions, and views asking for help as weakness or failure. 

It is certainly desirable that everyone dig deeply into themselves for courage, perseverance, effort, and skill to move their life forward. It is also desirable that everyone contributes to society rather than mooches off of the labor and kindness of others.  At the same time, though, we know that life often hands people extraordinary challenges that quickly overwhelm their normal coping resources.  Is it good for society for that person to crash and burn?  Is it honorable to let unfortunate circumstances grind us down, and move us from strained to crushed?  I don’t think so.

Regardless of a general ethos of rugged self-reliance, there are circumstances in which good sense requires asking for and accepting help.  That is, the rules change!  To adhere to the usual rule when the rules should change is stubborn, unwise, selfish, and self-destructive.  It is easy to be too proud.  This truth is universally recognized, as contained in adages such as, “If you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together,” "It takes a village,” or “There, but for the grace of G-d, go I.” 

When you get a toothache, do you (a) do your own dental work, or (b) visit a dentist?   When you or a loved one is suffering acute or prolonged emotional upset, do you (a) Google it, or (b) consult a psychologist?  If a loved one is hospitalized, do you (a) keep it a secret, or (b) let your friends know so they can help you with emotional and practical support? 

I support option “b” in all such cases.  To reach “a-a-h!,” remember to ask for and accept help.  It will be good for you, good for those who help you, and good for your community.