Talk to Dr. Chafetz now : 469-233-5566
Paul K. Chafetz, PhD Clinical Psychology
  • Home
  • Services
  • About
  • Contact
    • Send Dr. Chafetz a Message
    • Contact Information >
      • Office Location
    • Upcoming Events
    • New patient registration forms
    • Site Map
  • Blog
  • Media
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Articles
    • Quizzes
    • Other Media
  • Services
    • Adult Psychology >
      • Midlife Crisis Depression
      • Dealing With Empty Nest Syndrome
      • Adjustment To Retirement
      • Caregiver Support
      • Dealing with Adult Children
      • Dealing with Elderly Parents
      • Dealing With Difficult Relatives
      • Authority and Responsibility in Families
      • Boomerang adult children
      • BOOM: Becoming one's own man
    • Health Psychology >
      • Depression Psychotherapy
      • Anxiety Therapy
      • Insomnia Therapy
      • Chronic Illness Therapy
      • Pain Management Therapy
    • Psychology of Life >
      • Self-Esteem Therapy
      • Stages of Life Psychology
      • Assertiveness Therapy
      • Psychology of Forgiveness
      • Family Psychotherapy
      • Birth Order Psychology
    • Clinical Gero-Psychology >
      • Grief Therapy
      • Dementia Therapy
      • Coping with Senility
    • Forensic Gero-Psychology >
      • Competence to sign a will
      • Contesting a will
      • Guardianship
      • Vulnerability to exploitation
    • Need a speaker?
  • Past Events
  • Home
  • Services
  • About
  • Contact
    • Send Dr. Chafetz a Message
    • Contact Information >
      • Office Location
    • Upcoming Events
    • New patient registration forms
    • Site Map
  • Blog
  • Media
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Articles
    • Quizzes
    • Other Media
  • Services
    • Adult Psychology >
      • Midlife Crisis Depression
      • Dealing With Empty Nest Syndrome
      • Adjustment To Retirement
      • Caregiver Support
      • Dealing with Adult Children
      • Dealing with Elderly Parents
      • Dealing With Difficult Relatives
      • Authority and Responsibility in Families
      • Boomerang adult children
      • BOOM: Becoming one's own man
    • Health Psychology >
      • Depression Psychotherapy
      • Anxiety Therapy
      • Insomnia Therapy
      • Chronic Illness Therapy
      • Pain Management Therapy
    • Psychology of Life >
      • Self-Esteem Therapy
      • Stages of Life Psychology
      • Assertiveness Therapy
      • Psychology of Forgiveness
      • Family Psychotherapy
      • Birth Order Psychology
    • Clinical Gero-Psychology >
      • Grief Therapy
      • Dementia Therapy
      • Coping with Senility
    • Forensic Gero-Psychology >
      • Competence to sign a will
      • Contesting a will
      • Guardianship
      • Vulnerability to exploitation
    • Need a speaker?
  • Past Events
Picture

WORLD-CLASS ASSERTIVENESS ON A WORLD SCALE: THE UNITED STATES DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

7/1/2016

1 Comment

 
Picture

​Every American knows that our Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776.  How many Americans alive today, however, have actually read this magnificent document as an adult?  I have a long habit of reading it every July 4th, usually also imposing on people around me to listen as I read it out loud.  Few of them have read or heard it before, and few who hear it are not moved by the experience. 
 
Despite my long history of this practice, I only recently realized that the document is also a virtually perfect example of what we psychologists and psychotherapists call assertiveness.  As you know, passive behavior is designed to please others, but leaves the individual disrespected, poorly treated, and resentful.  Aggressive behavior is designed to dominate others, but leaves the individual disliked and perhaps ashamed or regretful. Assertiveness occupies the “sweet spot” between passivity and aggressiveness.  Assertive behavior is designed to communicate and build healthy connections between people.  Assertive people communicate both clearly and firmly, and respectfully and constructively.  Assertive communication informs the world what the individual wants and likes, and doesn’t want or like, what the individual is and is not willing to do.  The assertive person can state, when appropriate, that, “It is not my turn, not my fault, and not my problem.”
 
In total consonance with the above description of assertive behavior, The Declaration of Independence begins with an explanation that, since the colonies are undertaking such a momentous step, “a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them…”  In other words, they wanted to communicate, to be known and understood by the world.
 
The text continues to state the colonies’ core philosophy which underlay their decision.  “We hold these truths to be self-evident: That all men are created equal,” etc.
 
Next, the founders detailed 27 different types of unacceptable behavior which the colonies had endured at the hands of the King of England, such as “He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people and eat out their substance,” and “He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.”
 
Then follows their logical conclusion, namely, “A prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.”
 
Finally, powerfully, and dramatically, the founders state in clear terms what decision they have reached about their own actions.  “..appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intention,” and “in the name and by the authority of the good people of these colonies,” they “solemnly publish and declare, that these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent states,” etc., and they “mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.” 
 
Note that the founders ask permission of no one to take this monumental step, and they demand no action from others.  They are simply communicating, clearly and firmly, and respectfully and constructively.  I believe that no psychologist could write a more perfect example of assertiveness.  It makes me both proud and humble, as a psychologist, to be an American and an heir to this brilliance.
 
I urge you to use the link below to download the entire text, and read it aloud with your friends and family as you celebrate Independence Day this year.  Let me know what reaction you get!
 
 
http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/declaration_transcript.html

1 Comment
Kody L link
12/1/2020 10:26:19 pm

Thanks for sharring

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    My podcasts

    Dr. Chafetz

    “My passion is ensuring that every adult is mentally ready to succeed in all transitions that comprise the adult years.  The meaning in my life comes from helping my patients see themselves, their situation, their future, and the entire world with new eyes and a newly courageous attitude.  
    ​
    My blog is for those wanting to Grow Into It."

    RSS Feed

Phone : 469.233.5566
Email :
PKChafetz@gmail.com
Paul K. Chafetz, PhD: Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist
Office Location: 8340 Meadow Rd., #134, Dallas, TX  75231