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    • Adult Psychology >
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What's your message?

2/25/2017

3 Comments

 
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In our digital age, submitting a comment, a request, or a review generally involves typing our words into a “message” field on a company’s website.   We can type any words we like in that box.  Luckily, nothing we type means a thing until we hit “send.”  Before sending, we have time to complain, criticize, and condemn, then calm down, compose, and clarify.  By the time we hit “send,” though, we had better be clear about our meaning and committed to our message, because the message cannot be un-sent.

I believe that each of us continually sends messages out to everyone we encounter.  We do it with our actions, our grooming, our wardrobe, our face, our words, and our tone. 

Is our message optimistic or not? Is it open, friendly, and welcoming or not?  Does it reflect genuine interested or not?  Does it prove us to be honest, ethical, and reliable or not?  Does it reflect that we are well-rounded, or focused on one area of life at the unfortunate expense of other important areas?

Of all the fields on the website of our life, surely the contents of our message field will have more impact and be remembered by more people than our home address and even our name.  After our death, what will people find that they can learn from our life? What will be our legacy, our guiding principle, and the lesson of our life?  Near or after life’s end is too late to establish the answers to these questions.  It will be hard to overcome the impressions we gave every day for the decades of our life.  Our daily messages cannot be un-sent.

The time to compose and send the message we want to be associated with us and our memory is today!

3 Comments
Nancy S Nelson
11/1/2017 03:16:07 pm

Dr. P, my transport failed again, &I really need some help. I know you said your schedule was tight, but can you find a spot? Elaine was here yesterday& almost ”bye”. She did hug me, , but I am sure she would classsify as a difficult parent. It will help if I can come back up to numb. I had just gotten home from Baylor on Mon. Evening-a fall on Sat evening. Probablly med. related. Life is being its usual, very complicated. I look forward to seeing you.,
Nancy

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Nancy S.Nelson link
12/20/2017 12:27:22 am

Dr. P., since our last meeting, I have been wanting to a section of your book. I always thought people in families teased other & liked doing so. If you didn’t tease people you didn’t like them. One uncle went overboard with teasing when it became mockery of cruelty. I don’t know about the other children, but I remember thinking that Hall.was always like so & John was like that. I don’t think it ever had to be explained. I’m pretty sure my brother understood Hall & 3 brothers told so much mischief better than I, but it didn’t matter & our dad & they told so many goofy black & white cat looks like a cow. Part of the ease I remember may have happened inside the family group & not outside. Much if I of it always self-told, not he did, she did. None of it eras deadly. I can remember times that Imight have been embarrassed. But nothing cruel or sarcastic. I just can’t structuring teasing as a way to be difficult to my kids. It seems to be easier with boys than girls. I told you about my surprise & delight when Micah looked over my head in last early summer. I think could be mutual teasing & joy at another barrier into the dust.
I have read & studied Freud’s WIT g . . . & I certainly understand that the laughter or malice between behaviors. A 3rd pt. of view is shone the early part of this blog. Irony is a wonderful tool for making people pay special attention & for humor. You have used it well in this blog. Thanks, Nancy. More on a different topic & a different night. Ihope you have a lovely holiday. MAZOLTOF.

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Nancy S. Nelson
1/8/2018 10:08:59 pm

Dr. P., I must have been even more up-tight about the meeting re estranged children than I had though. The first half hour was boring. Finally several people opened up. I talked with several individuals at the end & found them friendly & welcoming. I expect to go back. The author of the book about current studies of animal intelligence Is Frans de Waal; he is Dutch, I don’t know of relationship to the author of “The Hare” . . . Nancy

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Paul K. Chafetz, PhD: Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist
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