Grandparenting
Although many new grandparents consider themselves too young for the role, most welcome it and find great pleasure in interacting with their grandchildren. Researchers have identified several styles of grandparenting. The most widespread style is called formal, involving a hands off approach. Other styles are fun seeker, distant, surrogate parent, and reservoir of family wisdom.
In his psychology practice, Dr. Chafetz has observed that being a grandparent can have a frustrating dimension. This occurs when the grandparent, upon observing the parenting behavior of their grown children, feels that the middle generation is making poor parenting decisions. If the middle generation is not open to parenting suggestions from their own elderly parents, the grandparents, although perhaps wiser, really have no choice but to back off and let the younger generations learn from their own choices. Unless the grandparents are in fact shouldering a good bit of responsibility for the grandchildren (in the form of money, babysitting, carpooling, etc.), the grandparents have no standing, or authority, to impose their will on the younger generations. That authority belongs to the middle generation.
Even in this case, however, it is often possible for grandparents to increase their influence on adult children, by refining their ability to use finesse, or the "soft sell" approach to expressing their opinions.
In his psychology practice, Dr. Chafetz has observed that being a grandparent can have a frustrating dimension. This occurs when the grandparent, upon observing the parenting behavior of their grown children, feels that the middle generation is making poor parenting decisions. If the middle generation is not open to parenting suggestions from their own elderly parents, the grandparents, although perhaps wiser, really have no choice but to back off and let the younger generations learn from their own choices. Unless the grandparents are in fact shouldering a good bit of responsibility for the grandchildren (in the form of money, babysitting, carpooling, etc.), the grandparents have no standing, or authority, to impose their will on the younger generations. That authority belongs to the middle generation.
Even in this case, however, it is often possible for grandparents to increase their influence on adult children, by refining their ability to use finesse, or the "soft sell" approach to expressing their opinions.
