Sources of our personality
Dr. Chafetz believes that one's personality is composed of influences from three sources: NATURE, NURTURE, and CHOICES.
First, nature refers to the fact that each person is born into this world with a certain set of character predispositions. Some people are intrinsically more hardy and resilient than others, less distressed by tribulations, conflict, or stress. Some are more naturally attuned than others to the behaviors and feelings of people around them.
Second, nurture refers to all the experiences that living in the world creates for us. We experience a certain family life (perhaps warm and accepting; perhaps harshly punitive or dangerously neglectful), a certain economic and societal environment (perhaps wealth with many educational opportunities; perhaps wartime, economic deprivation, or ethnic discrimination). We may be treated as attractive and welcomed, or hated and rejected.
Third, whatever one's nature and nurture have been, each person can and does make their own decisions about what kind of a person they wish to be. Most commonly, positive influences from nature and nurture make it easier to grow into a psychologically healthy individual, who behaves responsibly and constructively, seeing and treating themselves and others kindly and fairly. We see a minority of people, however, who, despite having had every advantage in their background, somehow turn into unhappy and unpleasant individuals. Likewise, there are many inspiring stories of individuals who grew up with many strikes against them, and seemingly every justification for becoming bitter and selfish, who nevertheless choose to live a life of cooperation, selflessness, and optimism.
It is this key role of personal choice which creates hope than anyone can turn their life in a more positive direction.
First, nature refers to the fact that each person is born into this world with a certain set of character predispositions. Some people are intrinsically more hardy and resilient than others, less distressed by tribulations, conflict, or stress. Some are more naturally attuned than others to the behaviors and feelings of people around them.
Second, nurture refers to all the experiences that living in the world creates for us. We experience a certain family life (perhaps warm and accepting; perhaps harshly punitive or dangerously neglectful), a certain economic and societal environment (perhaps wealth with many educational opportunities; perhaps wartime, economic deprivation, or ethnic discrimination). We may be treated as attractive and welcomed, or hated and rejected.
Third, whatever one's nature and nurture have been, each person can and does make their own decisions about what kind of a person they wish to be. Most commonly, positive influences from nature and nurture make it easier to grow into a psychologically healthy individual, who behaves responsibly and constructively, seeing and treating themselves and others kindly and fairly. We see a minority of people, however, who, despite having had every advantage in their background, somehow turn into unhappy and unpleasant individuals. Likewise, there are many inspiring stories of individuals who grew up with many strikes against them, and seemingly every justification for becoming bitter and selfish, who nevertheless choose to live a life of cooperation, selflessness, and optimism.
It is this key role of personal choice which creates hope than anyone can turn their life in a more positive direction.
