DEMENTIA MADE MY SWEET DAD DIFFICULT! - TOP SIX WAYS

In earlier posts, I discussed the “classic six” behavior patterns found in long-difficult older parents (See: Classic Six- Part I, Classic Six- Part II, Classic Six-Part III).

I have also identified six common behavior patterns found in parents who have become newly difficult with the onset of dementia. Here are the “cognitive six” scenarios.

1. REPETITIVENESS refers to the parent who says the same thing dozens of times a day. It may be asking the same question or voicing the same complaint. The cognitively impaired parent does not remember saying it before, and certainly does not remember the response the adult child gave. You quickly realize that responding logically every time is pointless, but see no alternative. 
2. RESTLESSESS refers to the parent who shows frequent anxiety, worry, or fear. This behavior often seems more severe in the afternoon, which is why it is often called sundowning.
3. WANDERING refers to the parent who walks to the wrong places, at the wrong times, or just too much. Trespassing is going into other people’s spaces. Eloping is leaving the premises in a way that is somehow inappropriate, such as underdressed, unsafe, or too confused to be able to return home on their own. Pacing is incessant or excessive walking. In most cases, it is very difficult to know how consciously purposeful the walking is.
4. DELUSION refers to the parent who has an inaccurate belief and lets no evidence or facts change the belief. If the delusion involves the idea that someone has evil intent toward the parent (theft, assault, dislike), it is called paranoid. The delusion might also be jealous, romantic, or grandiose. One very strange delusion, caused by a certain form of brain disease, is Capgras syndrome, in which the patient believes that someone, usually a spouse, is not really the spouse, but rather an identical-appearing imposter.
5. AGGRESSION, ANGER, IRRITIBILITY refers to the parent whose words, tone, or actions show hostility.
6. DEPRESSION, WITHDRAWAL, LETHARGY refers to the parent who has little or no energy to move around, participate in any activities, or interact with people. They appear to care about nothing or to have given up on life.

Any of these behavior patterns are stressful for the adult child and require that the adult child learn new skills for loving and caring for the impaired parent.