YOU MIGHT BE A “CODOP” IF…..

The vast majority of people at every age of life are psychologically normal and healthy.  Their behavior, emotions, and thinking are adaptive and reasonable, and they are adequately content and productive.  Interestingly, compared to young adults and middle-aged adults, older adults have lower rates of all mental disorders except dementia. 

Unfortunately, a small but reliable portion of people, including older adults, do show mental disorders, and many of these people are parents.  Obviously, their parenting behavior is affected by their mental disorder, and this can create seriously unpleasant experiences for their children. 

Difficult older parents fall typically into two groups.  The first is the now older parent who has always been difficult, dating back to their children’s childhood.  These parents often suffer from substance abuse or a personality disorder.  The second group is the now older parent who was historically a well-functioning individual but who now has dementia.

Adults whose parents have a mental disorder face the sad and difficult challenge of loving a hard-to-love parent.  I have coined the term CODOP, which means children of difficult older parents. 

Are you a CODOP? 

From my 30+ years of experience working with these adult children in my practice, I have collected a list of common CODOP experiences. If you are a CODOP, I can share with you the many successful strategies I have either developed for or learned from my patients.  If you do not qualify as a CODOP, count your blessings!