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Paul K. Chafetz, PhD Clinical Psychology
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  • Home
  • Services
  • About
  • Contact
    • Send Dr. Chafetz a Message
    • Contact Information >
      • Office Location
    • Upcoming Events
    • New patient registration forms
    • Site Map
  • Blog
  • Media
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Articles
    • Quizzes
    • Other Media
  • Services
    • Adult Psychology >
      • Midlife Crisis Depression
      • Dealing With Empty Nest Syndrome
      • Adjustment To Retirement
      • Caregiver Support
      • Dealing with Adult Children
      • Dealing with Elderly Parents
      • Dealing With Difficult Relatives
      • Authority and Responsibility in Families
      • Boomerang adult children
      • BOOM: Becoming one's own man
    • Health Psychology >
      • Depression Psychotherapy
      • Anxiety Therapy
      • Insomnia Therapy
      • Chronic Illness Therapy
      • Pain Management Therapy
    • Psychology of Life >
      • Self-Esteem Therapy
      • Stages of Life Psychology
      • Assertiveness Therapy
      • Psychology of Forgiveness
      • Family Psychotherapy
      • Birth Order Psychology
    • Clinical Gero-Psychology >
      • Grief Therapy
      • Dementia Therapy
      • Coping with Senility
    • Forensic Gero-Psychology >
      • Competence to sign a will
      • Contesting a will
      • Guardianship
      • Vulnerability to exploitation
    • Need a speaker?
  • Past Events

BOOM: Becoming one's own man

This term was introduced by Daniel Levinson in his book, Seasons of a Man's Life.  Levinson writes that one of the myths of our culture is that,  in their twenties, people are finished with the business of growing up.  However, this expectation ignores the fact that the life structure created in early adulthood cannot possibly reflect all parts of the self, and must therefore be enlarged later.

During the BOOM period, a man realizes that he is not really as independent as he once imagined. He now craves more authority and wants to speak with his own voice. He also feels uncomfortably dependent on those with power over him. The writer feels unduly intimidated by his critics or publisher; the middle manager thinks his superiors control too much, and delegate too little; the professional man chafes under senior colleagues.

Breaking with a mentor is an extremely significant event during this period. The person who was formerly so loved and admired, and seen as giving so much, is now felt to be heavily controlling. Because the relationship has served its purpose, it can now be terminated—sometimes slowly and peacefully, sometimes abruptly and bitterly. After the separation, a process of internalization occurs, whereby the younger man makes the valued qualities of the mentor more fully a part of himself.

Having dispensed with this tie, a man is ready to BOOM: He is ready to give up being a son in the little boy sense, and a young man in the apprentice sense.  He himself is ready to assume more fully the responsibility of being a mentor, father, and friend to other adults. This sort of developmental achievement is the essence of adulthood, say Levinson.

Phone : 469.233.5566
Email :
PKChafetz@gmail.com
Paul K. Chafetz, PhD: Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist
Office Location: 8340 Meadow Rd., #134, Dallas, TX  75231